Have you ever really thought about the relationship you have with yourself? Is is something you've let slide because of time, or maybe you let it slide because you don't honestly know too much about yourself. Yeah you know the specifics like your name, where you were born, the fact that you don't like mushrooms on pizza, but out needs and wants evolve over time and if we don't take time to continue to grow our self love it can fade pretty damn fast.
I know this, because it is something I'm guilty of. In the past I've let my relationship with myself fade into the background while I focused on everything around me. I lost touch of who I was and what I really wanted and liked.
A great example, while we were making the move to Clearwater, we purchased a house we could put our touches on, for the first time it wasn't a new build and I had the opportunity to really dive in and decorated and paint with the looks and styles I wanted. It was having this open canvas that made me realize I had zero idea what I liked. I found myself on Pinterest for hours saving all the HGTV inspired images, things I felt I should love. Which lead to a little bit of a personal identity meltdown. My husband came home from work one day and asked how my day was. Which sent me on a rampage about not knowing my style, what I like, myself...I'm sure the stress of the move played a roll in that meltdown...but that meltdown lead to me asking a lot of questions.
Which brings me back on topic, of sharing with you a few of my favorite solo dates.
1. Take Yourself Out to Eat
For me, my favorite place meal out is breakfast. I just love all the yummy breakfast food, but will never make a full spread breakfast on weekdays. Instead at least once a month I am trying to commit to taking myself out to breakfast, by myself. The first time I did it I dropped our daughter off at school and started heading towards Dunedin, at every traffic light I nearly chickened out. I had to literally talk myself into going to breakfast alone and not turning around and heading home. It felt weird and uncomfortable the entire drive. But as soon as I arrived at the Wild Iris Cafe, it suddenly felt less weird. Especially when the owner said, "good for you" when I said it was just one today. She has no idea how much weight those words held for me.
Oh, and I cannot stress this enough, when you take yourself out, order whatever the hell you want. Don't thin about what is the "right" thing to order, let your tummy take the wheel and order what sounds good in the moment. Let yourself be in the moment. I had ordered the eggs benedict AND a homemade muffin. Normally I wouldn't get both, because it felt like "too much", but this was my first breakfast date with myself and I wasn't about to let what I feared others would think stop me from having what I wanted. I mean the date was all about me, right?!
2. Take Yourself on a Treasure Hunt
We all have treasures that bring us joy and are worth far beyond their monetary value. For example, my engagement ring, which my husband picked out solo, it means the world to me, not because it is sparkly or expensive, but because my husband took the time to find a ring he felt fit me, and picked it out for me, and only me. Another example is the first picture my daughter drew me, that she wrote mommy on correctly on her own. That picture means more to me than she could even understand. Or the earrings my parents gave me one year for Christmas that one of the diamonds was from the first pair my father bought my mother, and the other was picked to match. My grandmothers wedding ring is another, when she passed I was given her ring that I wear stacked upon my own rings sitting between my wedding band and my engagement ring. The list could go on and on.
Back to the point, take yourself on a treasure hunt. I personally like to take myself to an antique store with preset amount of cash. I could wonder the isles for hours admiring the treasures of the past. Sometimes I don't find anything to gift myself (because it isn't always about finding something) but sometimes, sometimes I find a treasure that I know was meant just for me. If antique stores aren't your thing, you can go to your favorite store and find something you wouldn't normally buy for yourself but you secretly want, and just get it.
On one of my solo shopping trips I found this beautiful amber glass candy dish, I showed my husband my treasure and he poked fun, asking if I was 90 and was going to fill it will small hard candies. The jokes on him though, that candy dish has a spot of honor on my vanity and holds my hair ties. Every time I grab one out it brings me so much joy, its my beautiful treasure. Something I bought for me, and no one is going to convince me it ins't priceless.
3. Take a class
Maybe you decide to take a class to better your career, maybe you take a class to better yourself, and maybe you take one just for the hell of it. Just make sure you take a class you want to take, not one someone tells you you should take.
This is on my to do list for next year, I'll let you know when I pick something!
4. Go for a Walk
Dates don't have to cost money. Some of my favorite dates with my husband is when we just just go hangout somewhere and play cards. But I found when I'm solo I prefer a walk. Wither it is a walk in a small town wandering in and out of boutiques and small stores, or a stroll on the beach I find that I am the most calm when I'm just strolling along. On my beach walks I look for shells, and have my little collection of my favorites. Those shells are like little gifts to myself and every time I see them sitting on the shelf in the kitchen they make me smile. Especially that fist shell I found solo. It was the perfect tiny little conch and I love it so much. It brings me so much joy, and it cost me nothing.
5. Let someone pamper you!
So for me this is one of the hardest things, partially because I don't love to be touched. I don't love massages because it is a lot of touching. Pedicures aren't normally my thing because I've had multiple ankle surgeries and I don't like people rubbing on my scar. But I have found an appreciation for facials. I love the warmth, the detail, and I it works well for me.
But allowing someone to pamper you doesn't have to mean you have to go to a spa. It could also be hiring someone to come in and clean your house for you. Or something as simple as allow someone you care about to do something for you. Yep, I said it.
Sometimes the best self date is allowing someone else to do something for you and you just sit back and enjoy some one on one time with yourself.
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