I'm so sick and tired of saying I'm sorry
I find myself apologizing a lot. Like a lot a lot. I apologize in my head, to myself, to those that cross my path, the list just goes on and on. I'm not sure when, but somewhere along the line "sorry" just became the most used word in my vocabulary.
Which is funny, because I'm also someone who often says things like "no need to apologize" and "it isn't your fault". So why am I also plagued with the constant need to appologize for things that aren't my fault or responsibility?
Maybe it is because I've felt like an outsider in my own skin
Maybe it is because I've felt that since I wasn't (and still aren't) "perfect" I must be wrong
Maybe it is the guilt of not becoming who I once thought I wanted to be
Maybe it is because society has convinced me that being myself is less than acceptable
Maybe it is because I have this instinct to mother those around me to make sure they are a priority
Maybe it is because there is no damn reason and I just fell into a habit much like biting ones nails
In reality the reason doesn't really matter. Just the fact that I got to sorry-ville, and surprise, surprise, I'm not the only one here. As a society we all apologize for things that aren't our responsibility.
Today I really tried listening for the word sorry, you know what I heard?
"Sorry, I can't reach that, could you help?" Sorry I can't reach that. Apologizing for being too short. Last time I checked that isn't something we can control. I mean if we could I would totally have had at least made myself the 5 foot 2 inches my license claims I am.
"Sorry, I'm starving do you mind if we order first then sit down and chat?" Since when do we have to be sorry that we are hungry?
"Sorry, I accidentally punched you Myka" Okay this one, this one works. And it may or may not have been said in our kitchen when my daughter was twirling around dancing and accidentally connected with the dog.
It is one thing to say sorry when we make mistakes, but apologizing for being ourselves is just over done. We shouldn't be apologizing for wearing what we want to wear, for being a certain size, for being skinny or fat, for being tall or short...We are all people. Period.
I am making it a goal for the rest of this month to really take stock in how much I say I'm sorry and to knock it the hell off. I will still apologize when I make mistakes, which is okay, I'm human I should be making mistakes. But I really want to try to stop apologizing for being myself.
I want you to think about it, are you an over-apologizer? How can you say sorry a little bit less for things that aren't within your control?
Maybe if we all work together we can make an apology mean more than just a word we overuse, and return it to its original use. We can give ourselves a little more opportunity to embrace being unique ourselves without the stigma of feeling a need to be "sorry" about it. Maybe we can allow ourselves to shine just a little bit brighter.
0 Comments